


Puppet History: Bedroom University

by idkspookystuff



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Accurate history regarding Marie Antoinette, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Ryan Bergara, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Top Shane Madej
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:00:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27607315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/pseuds/idkspookystuff
Summary: Ryan doesn't have a thing for the Professor. He might have a thing for being told what to do.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 22
Kudos: 234





	Puppet History: Bedroom University

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Teacher's Pet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25857277) by [chapscher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chapscher/pseuds/chapscher). 



> This is a love note to two fanfics. The first is [let's see if we can make it 'til the end](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158381) by punk_rock_yippie which is sexy Are You Scared and a fanfic in which I, in the comments, proposed sexy Puppet History. This is also heavy influenced by [Teacher's Pet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25857277) by chapscher, which is a way better version of this.
> 
> The Marie-Antoinette content is a fanfic-ified version of [this history.com article](https://www.history.com/topics/france/marie-antoinette) on her life. Also the pamphlet content came from [this page from the Newberry.](https://publications.newberry.org/digitalexhibitions/exhibits/show/marie/pamphlets) Always cite your porn sources.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and enjoying. If you do, please leave a comment! I love reading your comments on my work.
> 
> \- [Is <3](https://twitter.com/rosegoldphil)

It’s  _ not  _ going to become a thing.

It’s probably just cold in the studio. The fact that he didn’t wear a long sleeve shirt. Maybe their office got magically transported to Alaska and none of them have realized because they’re all so wrapped up in this shoot. There must be some logical, sane explanation for the shiver that goes down Ryan’s back when the Professor says: “well, Ryan, maybe if you were a better student, I wouldn’t have to punish you with so many rotten jelly beans.”

It’s stupid. It’s so stupid because the Professor is a tiny blue puppet with American Girl Doll clothes and a satchel full of jelly beans. He’s an (apparently) time traveling history puppet and Ryan should not flush when he gets told off by a fucking  _ puppet _ . And yet.

All snarky comebacks leave his brain and his mouth goes dry. He can tell everyone is waiting for a snarky comeback, something to fit into the episode, and he’s got nothing. His eyes drop to his Jordan’s and he says “sorry” in the meekest voice in his entire life.

Ryan can practically hear Shane’s eyebrow raise. “Well,” the Professor says. “You should be,” and he dives straight back into history like Ryan’s brain isn’t being slowly melted by a puppet professor. 

After the shoot, as the crew is taking down Shane’s frankly insane puppet theater, Shane walks straight up to Ryan sans-puppet, leans down to his ear, and whispers, “are you gonna be a good student?”

It goes through Ryan like a lightning bolt and Shane leans back against his heels. “Very interesting,” he remarks.

Ryan feels himself flush harder, if possible. “Shut it,” he says, holding a finger up. “Shut your entire mouth, wipe this interaction from your brain, this is  _ not _ going to become a thing.”

“Sure,” Shane answers, but if the gleeful way he goes back to help the crew disassemble the set is any indication, it’s not wiped from his brain at all.

That Saturday, when Ryan wakes up, he notices Shane isn’t in their bed. He pulls on a t-shirt that was thrown on the floor (his or Shane’s, he doesn’t know, they honestly don’t have their own clothes anymore) and doesn’t bother with pants besides his boxers as he walks out into the kitchen.

Shane’s cooking breakfast, and so Ryan fits himself to Shane’s back, presses a lazy kiss against the nape of Shane’s neck. “Hi,” he says, his voice groggy.

“Hi!” Shane answers, way too cheery for 8:30 AM on a Saturday. “I made you breakfast! Are you done in the bedroom? Cool, thanks!” Shane presses the spatula into Ryan’s hand, kisses the top of his head, and is in the bedroom with the door locked like a hurricane before Ryan can ever process what happened.

Shane is a generally weird guy, so Ryan honestly doesn’t think to question it. He eats his breakfast, answers a few emails, spends some time fucking around on his phone, scrolling through Twitter. Around noon, Shane calls ‘Ryan!” from inside their bedroom.

Ryan, kind of comfy lounging on their couch, screams back “yeah?”

“C’mere!” Shane replies.

Ryan rolls his eyes. He gets up off the couch, cracks his back because he’s 29 whole years old now, and makes his way to the bedroom.

The door’s unlocked, so Ryan just steps in and immediately feels like leaving. Shane has set up their dresser next to the bed, and is using two hydroflasks to hold up red fabric as make-shift curtains. Ryan can see the top of Shane’s head poking out from behind the dresser, but Shane’s kneeling behind it. And he has the fucking Professor on his arm.

Ryan has no idea what the fuck he’s supposed to say, so he settles on: “Shane”.

“Welcome one and all to Puppet History!” the Professor exclaims. “Today we’ll be taking a deep-diving ever-winding look into yet another chapter in the heavy, heavy book we call history while our guest ruthlessly competes for the coveted title of History Master! I am obviously your beloved host, the Professor.”

Ryan, finally managing to gather his wits enough to process what’s happening, says “Shane, what the fuck?”

“Ryan Bergara, are you ready?” asks the Professor.

“Fucking what?” Ryan replies. “Ready for what?”

If he weren’t a puppet, Ryan would swear the Professor has a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Are you ready?”

Ryan takes a minute to think about it. On one hand, he knows that if he were to genuinely object, Shane would stop immediately, take down his fake theater and never speak about it again. On the other hand, Ryan is morbidly curious, and Shane has very rarely led him astray so. “Yes.”

“Great!” The Professor answers. “So let’s begin. Today we’ll be learning about Marie-Antoinette, Austrian queen of King Louis XVI and a woman whose name is forever tied with the moral and fiscal decline of the French monarchy.” Ryan barely has a moment to be impressed by the level of research Shane’s put into the sexual escapade because then the Professor says: “Get naked.”

Ryan.exe stops responding. “What?!”

“Get naked,” the Professor repeats. “If you want to be a good student, you’ll do as I say.”

Ryan hates how that heats up his entire body. He sheds his t-shirt, only momentarily regretting that he’s stripping for a puppet, and drops his boxers and lays on the bed before he can second guess himself.

“Good boy,” the Professor says, to which Ryan’s cock, hard against his stomach despite the absurdity of the situation, twitches. “Now lay on the bed.”

Ryan splays himself out on the bed. His cock is begging to be touched, but for some reason he knows he can’t. Not without permission. “Now Ryan, before we begin, what do you know about Marie-Antoinette?”

Ryan wracks his brain for any long-held Marie-Antoinette knowledge, but comes up empty handed. “Let them eat cake?”

The Professor laughs. “Oh, we’ll get to that later,” and his puppet head scans Ryan’s body. It’s so absurd, the idea of the Professor eating ass, that Ryan bursts out laughing. He’s almost in tears by the time Shane pokes his head out from behind the dresser to look at Ryan. “You okay?”

Ryan nods. “Yeah, sorry,” he says. He snorts one last time and then brings his sleeved arm to his face to wipe away any tears. “Sorry, continue.”

The Professor starts right where he left off. “Marie-Antoinette, born  Maria Antonia Josepha Joanna von Österreich-Lothringen-”

Ryan huffs out a laugh, “what a name.”

“-was born on November 2, 1766 in Vienna, Austria. She was just 14 years old when she was married to King Louis XV’s grandson, also named Louis. Question time! How was Marie-Antoinette’s husband described? A, a timid, uninspiring man. B, a strong war-hero or C, a fiscal mastermind?”

Ryan crosses his arms over his chest. “What do I get if I answer them right?”

The Professor, somehow, gives Ryan a lewd look. “A prize.”

Ryan feels his entire body flush. “Uh. A?”

“Correct!” The Professor cheerily replies. “If you look on the dresser to your left, you’ll find a bottle of lube.” Ryan takes the lube and pours some onto his hand. “Touch yourself.” Ryan wraps a hand around his own cock and starts stroking himself in earnest. “Slowly,” the Professor reprimands. 

Ryan actually whines. “Shane.”

“Ah ah,” the Professor says. “Don’t forget who’s in charge.”

Ryan glares at where he assumes Shane is behind the dresser. “You’re fucking insane if you think you’re getting me to moan a puppet’s name.”

“Oh Ryan, we’ll get you there,” the Professor says, which makes Ryan’s cock twitch in his hands. “Now where was I? Ah, yes. When the unattentive Louis ascended to the throne in 1774, Marie-Antoinette sought companionship amongst France’s politically vulnerable circle.

Despite her fame, the role good ol’ Marie played in French policy has been greatly exaggerated. Her efforts to return prior French prime minister Étienne-François de Choiseul, duke de Choiseul to power failed. The fall of finance minister Anne-Robert-Jacques Turgot is often attributed to Marie-Antoinette, but is instead likely due to some bad blood between Turgot and some foreign ministers over French participation in the American Revolution.”

Ryan, only half paying attention, sighs as he squeezes at the tip of his cock. “Question time!” the Professor interrupts. “What was Marie-Antoinette’s main political goal before the French Revolution? A, to rise to power. B, to overthrow the French government or C, she wanted to start some shit because she was bored?”

Ryan drops his head against the pillow. “Fuck, I don’t know.” His cock twitches in his hand and he feels his whole body heat. “B.”

“Oo, I’m sorry, the correct answer was C!” And then, just to be a dick, the Professor says, “take your hand off your cock.”

Ryan stops and his hips involuntarily twitch into his hand. “What? Why?”

He can practically hear Shane smirk. “I can’t have you slacking off, now, can I? You get a question right, you get a reward. You get one wrong, you get it taken away. Not so much negative repercussions as it is positive reinforcement. Now take your hand off.”

Ryan, with great power, somehow manages to take his hand off and put it on his stomach. His cock throbs, begging for attention, but for some reason it feels better when the Professor says, “very good.”

“Now Marie-Antoinette, bored with her life as the wife of dumbass King Louis, used her influence to secure political favors for her politically vulnerable new pals, but she never wielded more power than any other royal wife before her. However, as she was Austrian and people were generally xenophobic, no one really trusted Marie-Antoinette. Inexpensive pamphlets made it fashionable to make fun of the queen, even occasionally spreading pornographic rumors! One such pamphlet, entitled  _ l’Autrichienne,  _ depicted Marie-Antoinette as a nymphomaniac who sought sexual favors from various court officials, nobels, servants, and even her brother-in-law! Yikes!

Question! What does  _ l’Autrichienne _ translate to in English? A. _ The Queen _ . B.  _ The Austrian Whore _ . C.  _ The Austrian Bitch _ .”

“Jesus.” Ryan’s cock throbs against his stomach at the sound of the Professor saying  _ whore _ . He really has no clue, but his brain returns to the mantra ‘when in doubt, choose C’ and so he answers “C. The bitch one.”

“Correct!” the Professor answers. When Ryan goes back to stroking himself, the Professor tuts. “Oh Ryan,” he reprimands. “You lost that privilege. You didn’t think I would give it back, did you?”

Ryan drops his dick against his stomach again and squeezes his thighs. “Please,” he begs, only partially ashamed that he’s begging a puppet. “Oh please, please.”

“What I want you to do,” the Professor starts slowly. “Is to cover your fingers in lube,” Ryan quickly follows orders, “and finger yourself open for me.”

“Jesus,” Ryan says again. “Really?”

“Really,” the Professor answers. “I want you all nice and open for my cock.”

Ryan doesn’t really want to think of the implications of a puppet cock and instead pushes two fingers inside himself. “Shane, fuck me,  _ fuck me _ .”

The Professor sounds a little broken as he replies, “I don’t know who this Shane is, but he’s not the one you’ll be fucking you.”

Ryan manages to glare. “Shane, the puppet is not fucking me.”

Shane, behind the dresser, wheezes. “Shut up,” he answers.

“Onwards! Now, obviously, an Austrian lady in the 18th century was not entirely to blame for all of France’s problems. Other wars France intervened in put France in a shit ton of debt. France’s 1%, the First Estate and the Second Estate, generally did not have to pay taxes, whereas ordinary folk paid, again, a shit ton of taxes.

Dumbass King Louis was actually  _ not _ a dumbass for once, and tried to implement a more representative taxation system. However, shockingly, the tax evasion nobility were not in favor. The Third Estate, AKA the normal people, formed a national assembly that placed the government in the hands of the ordinary people for the first time ever. And boy, did the royals not like that.

In October 1789, a mob of women really angry about the price of bread, marched to Versailles where the royal family had been blissfully ignoring the whole ordeal, and dragged them back to the city. Question! What did the bread mob do when they got the family back? A. imprisoned their asses. B. asked them kindly to lower the taxes or C. forced the royal family to make bread for them?”

Ryan, clenching hard around three fingers pressed hard against his prostate, manages, “fuck, imprisioned?”

“A is the correct answer!” The Professor replies. “Get on your hands and knees and don’t look up.”

Ryan scrambles to obey, getting up on his hands and knees and pressing his face into a pillow. There’s some ruffling behind the dresser, the sound of Shane walking over to the bed and popping open the abandoned bottle of lube. His gloriously long fingers press into Ryan and Ryan gasps, panting against the pillow. “Shane, please.”

“Hm,” Shane as the Professor says. “I think you’re open enough.” And then, without any further fanfare, Shane pushes in, stretching Ryan so far he feels like he might cry it’s so good. When Shane bottoms out, Ryan drops his arms, arching his back further. He knows he’s gonna feel it tomorrow, but he also knows he doesn’t care.

“In June 1791-”

“Oh fuck you,” Ryan breathes, even as Shane’s leasurly fucking him. “You’re gonna do a history lesson with your dick in my ass?”

Shane leans forward to rest his lips against Ryan’s ear. “Don’t you wanna be a good student?” he whispers. Ryan feels it like lightning straight to his dick and he can’t suppress the full body shudder it produces. “That’s what I thought.”

Shane sits back up and returns to leisurely fucking Ryan. “Now let’s return to where I was before I was so rudely interrupted,” the Professor says. “In June 1791, Marie Antoinette and King Louis fled to the Austrian border where Marie’s brother, the Holy Roman Emperor, got together some troops that invaded France and overthrew the rebel government so that the nobles could go back to not paying taxes. 

Pissed off, the revolutionaries began to see the monarchs themselves, not the nobles, as the true assholes. They started doing wild shit, like declaring war on Austria, which severely hurt the French army, locking the royal family in a tower, and massacring anyone associated with the royals. In one notable instance, Marie Antoinette’s best friend, Princess de Lamballe, was dismembered in the street and the revolutionaries proceeded to have a parade with her head.

Question! What was the fate of Marie Antoinette’s dumbass husband, King Louis XVI? A. he died in prison. B. he was put on trial for treason and then executed or C. someone let his dumbass captain a boat and they all drowned?”

Ryan clenches around Shane hard and revels in the gasp he pulls from Shane’s mouth. Unfortunately, getting fucked isn’t the greatest way to pay attention, and so he blindly guesses, “C?”

“While that would be entertaining, the correct answer is B!” and then Shane stops moving.

“Shane,” Ryan sobs. “Come on, man, please.”

Shane doesn’t reply, and doesn’t honor Ryan’s request, holding his hips still as he talks. “Things did not go well for Marie Antoinette. In July 1793, she lost custody of her son, who was forced to accuse her of child abuse before a revolutionary tribunal. Finally, in October of that same year, she was put on trial for treason. And it went great! For the revolutionaries. For Marie, not so much. She was convicted of treason and sentenced to die. Question! How did Marie Antoinette die?”

He pauses. “No options?” Ryan manages.

“Nope!” The Professor answers. “This is an open ended question.”

Ryan groans. “Fuck you, man.” 

“Come on, Ryan,” Shane says gently. He starts moving his hips again and rests a hand on Ryan’s lower back to ground him. “Focus.”

Ryan closes his eyes and tries to focus, blocks out the cock splitting him open. Thinks back to everything he knows about Marie Antoinette. Let them eat cake. Her deadass husband. A guillotine. “They cut her head off.”

“Very good,” the Professor praises. No more words are spoken as Shane starts fucking him in earnest, using Ryan’s hips to pull him closer and get a deeper angle. Ryan feels utterly destroyed as Shane wraps a hand around his cock and jerks him off fast. “Oh fuck,” Ryan moans. He grasps at the sheets, and he’s sure he’d tear them if he had longer nails. “Oh Shane, I’m so close.”

“Yeah,” Shane mutters, and he sounds a little wrecked too. “Come for me, Ryan.” He mouths at Ryan’s neck and mutters, “be a good student,” and when he sinks his teeth in, that’s it, that’s the game, and Ryan’s coming in a blinding white light.

When Ryan comes back to, Shane’s still fucking him hard and breathing loudly against his neck. Ryan clenches around him just to be a little shit. “You close, Shane?”

Shane gasps against Ryan’s skin, “yes, baby.”

“Do it,” Ryan godes. “Come inside me. Fill me up, Professor.”

Shane’s hips stutter deep inside Ryan and he comes, letting Ryan feel every twitch and pulse of his cock as he unloads deep inside Ryan’s hole. It’s so hot that Ryan’s cock gives a valiant little twitch, despite the fact that he just came so hard he could die.

Shane pulls out and Ryan falls onto his back, his knees weak without Shane supporting his hips. As Shane’s panting next to him, Ryan picks up the puppet that Shane abandoned on the dresser. “So how about it, Professor? Am I the history master?”

Shane wheezes out a little laugh. “Yes, Ryan. You rightfully won the title of history master and thus, the prestigious cup.” Shane stands back up and drops the Professor off behind the dresser and grabs a little trophy. Ryan laughs in delight as he finds that this one is also filled to overflowing with jelly beans.

Ryan takes the little trophy and pops a jelly bean in his mouth. “I’m victorious.” 

Shane huffs. “That’s only because I’m such a good tutor,” he counters as he steals a jelly bean.

“Hey, asshole.” Ryan puts the cup out of Shane’s reach and cuddles into his chest.

They lay there in silence for a moment until Shane speaks. “Are you ready for your next lesson?”

Despite himself, Ryan’s lips curl into a smile. “Shut up, Shane.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos & comments make the world go 'round
> 
> \- [Is <3](https://twitter.com/rosegoldphil)


End file.
